Our routine continued. I'd be up at 6am so I could have my hot shower and then Michael would join me for breakfast. Nurses came in and out constantly to monitor Cameron, medicate him and feed him. Doctors always did ward rounds every morning and usually in the late afternoon as well.
My mother would arrive in the middle of the day and bring us some lunch and Michael's mother would arrive late afternoon and bring us dinner. One of them would take our washing away and bring us our clean clothes.
Messages would be given to us and if we were able we would call them back. Visitors would come and go and we would sit and watch Cameron.
Michael was sleeping in the parent room in the basement of the hospital. One night I went looking for him because I needed reassuring that everything was alright. I remember him holding me tight in his comforting arms and assuring me it would all be alright, we would get through this. He walked me back up to my room and checked in on Cameron. I remember sobbing quietly into my pillow after he left because I felt so alone.
However before the week was out Michael told me he wanted to move in with his parents. He said he felt guilty about using a room at the hospital that we didn't really qualify for. I felt really confused when he told me because I wanted him with me. I didn't want to be on my own but I couldn't change his mind. He said we were sleeping in different rooms anyway so it made no difference but that wasn't the way I saw it. I liked having him there close by and only a walk away if I needed him.
Michael needed the comfort of his mother's care and familiar surroundings. He wasn't coping and I think getting out of the hospital allowed him to breathe and cope better. The lovely lady who had arranged the room for him was rather shocked that he was moving out and assured him that he could stay. I was devastated however like I said right back at the beginning of this story - You never know how you are going to cope in a stressful situation until you are in it.
I've talked to Michael about what he remembers about this part of our story and he has no memory. I think Michael's memory has buried itself because it is too painful to recall.
With Michael moving out of the hospital a new routine began which has stood the test of time. He would bring me breakfast each morning. McDonald's pancakes, a hash brown and a coffee. If we ended up in hospital tonight Michael would bring me this exact same breakfast each morning until we were discharged. It's a comforting routine which makes a bad situation more bearable.