Thursday, 1 September 2011

Why Cameron is No Ordinary Kid - Part 42

Once everything was finished with our home we went to the one and only hotel in town and I dropped off my bag. I wanted to just cuddle up with Michael and try and process everything but he had to go back to work so Michael dropped me off at the school. I felt really alone.

It felt so strange to walk into my workplace after such a big break away. Everyone was really happy to see me and asked about Cameron. I told our story quite a few times that day. The staff organized a morning tea for me to say goodbye.

I felt really nervous walking into my classroom but of course my class were very happy to see me. I spent time with my class which was so nice. They had made me a gift of a gold macaroni photo frame ready for a class photo. We took the class photo which I later put into the frame, it was a very precious memory of a very happy time in my life. Saying goodbye to my children as they headed home was really hard and there were lots of hugs.

Once the children had left I set about collecting all my teaching resources, it took a while. When I was finished I faced the hardest part of my day - walking out the door knowing that I wasn't coming back and this was the end of my teaching days.

To be honest I don't actually remember what else I did that day except that when Michael came home we went and took a look at his new home. A room in the single men's camp. We slept in the hotel that night and I'm guessing we spent the evening with our friends because I probably went home with my girlfriend after school. .

The next day I visited my ceramics group and picked up all my unfinished pieces of work. It was sad to say goodbye to such a lovely group of women who I had loved hanging out with each Wednesday morning.

A group of Mum's that I knew had organized to get together for lunch and invited me. I remember sitting on the back step of the house with the few precious photos I had of Cameron in hospital and showing them to people while telling our story over and over again and answering lots of questions. I didn't feel part of the group and I didn't feel like people really understood what we had been through or what we were going through. It felt like an exaggerated story and it wasn't possible that things were as bad as they actually were.

Because they couldn't see Cameron I don't think they could truly comprehend that he was not how he was the last time they saw him and surely he would improve and get better again.

I didn't belong in the town anymore and all my loose ends were tied up. It was time to leave. I was booked to fly out that afternoon and my friend was booked on the same flight. Michael drove us out to the airport. I didn't want to leave Michael but at the same time I was feeling anxious about Cameron. I wanted to be in two places at the same time. My feelings were all over the place so it was really lucky that I had my friend to distract me because otherwise I may have cried for the entire flight.

Now that I had said goodbye to my old life and had seen that it was gone with my own eyes my new reality was more real than ever. Plans had to be made.

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