We'd only left home with enough clothes and personal supplies for a few days and we had now been gone for over a week. It was also school holidays and our friends from home were coming down to Perth. We got a phone call to ask what we would like them to bring down for us. Where to start, there was so much we needed. We gave them a list of clothes and other items. My biggest worry was my contraceptive pill - not that getting pregnant was a worry but I was about to run out. We were so grateful for our stuff.
We were now up to day nine, the day our families started to phone our friends. It was a day like all the rest and I was sitting up doing the nightshift while Michael slept. Suddenly staff started to behave differently and discussions were happening out of my ear shot. Finally someone came in and explained that Cameron was trying to breathe by himself. I didn't really comprehend what they meant but I could see there were changes happening. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.
Everything moved so quickly that I didn't have time to wake up Michael. Staff came in and started removing tubes and watching to see if Cameron could breathe unaided. He was okay, he was breathing by himself..Then in the blink of an eye the decision was made to move him out of isolation. This was very unsettling.
We had become very settled in our room. It was now our home and we had arranged our flowers, cards and gifts in an attempt to make it personal. We had our places that we sat and we were comfortable. Within minutes our comfort zone was gone and we were moving out.
We only moved 10 metres away but it felt so exposed and uncomfortable and Michael didn't know. I raced down the corridor and burst into our room. It was difficult to wake Michael and make him understand. Cameron was breathing by himself, this was big, he had to wake up and come now!
I dragged my half asleep husband back to the ICU to see his son breathing by himself. I don't think he could completely understand what he was seeing. He was happy but he was half asleep. He stayed for a while and then went back to bed. I sat next to Cameron with an excited feeling in my stomach and then I was asked if wanted to hold him. It was the easiest cuddle wé'd had in 9 days. I just wanted to sit there and cuddle him forever.
I don't know how long I sat cuddling Cameron but it was until my arms ached and I convinced myself that I had to put him down. I didn't want to but I had to. I sat there and watched the sun come up on a new day and what I felt was a new beginning.
We were now up to day nine, the day our families started to phone our friends. It was a day like all the rest and I was sitting up doing the nightshift while Michael slept. Suddenly staff started to behave differently and discussions were happening out of my ear shot. Finally someone came in and explained that Cameron was trying to breathe by himself. I didn't really comprehend what they meant but I could see there were changes happening. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.
Everything moved so quickly that I didn't have time to wake up Michael. Staff came in and started removing tubes and watching to see if Cameron could breathe unaided. He was okay, he was breathing by himself..Then in the blink of an eye the decision was made to move him out of isolation. This was very unsettling.
We had become very settled in our room. It was now our home and we had arranged our flowers, cards and gifts in an attempt to make it personal. We had our places that we sat and we were comfortable. Within minutes our comfort zone was gone and we were moving out.
We only moved 10 metres away but it felt so exposed and uncomfortable and Michael didn't know. I raced down the corridor and burst into our room. It was difficult to wake Michael and make him understand. Cameron was breathing by himself, this was big, he had to wake up and come now!
I dragged my half asleep husband back to the ICU to see his son breathing by himself. I don't think he could completely understand what he was seeing. He was happy but he was half asleep. He stayed for a while and then went back to bed. I sat next to Cameron with an excited feeling in my stomach and then I was asked if wanted to hold him. It was the easiest cuddle wé'd had in 9 days. I just wanted to sit there and cuddle him forever.
I don't know how long I sat cuddling Cameron but it was until my arms ached and I convinced myself that I had to put him down. I didn't want to but I had to. I sat there and watched the sun come up on a new day and what I felt was a new beginning.
Comments
Post a Comment