Life is Changing Again

Cameron and Zoe
February 2021

Our family is going through another transition phase and Cameron is struggling. 

His sister got her drivers licence and as we all know with your drivers licence comes freedom. We hardly saw her for the first week and then lockdown struck and she was home with us for the week - thanks Covid 19. 

Zoe - Drivers Licence
January 2021

This week life has started to return to normal and with that comes My Little Angel heading out the door again and this time she is starting her new routine of daily commitments for the year. 

Cameron isn't the only one struggling. The nest is not empty, far from it, but my life is changing dramatically too. Both my children are transitioning. I have been a full time chauffeur for over 25 years and suddenly it is all coming to a halt. No more driving backwards and forwards to dancing. No more therapy. No more medical appointments. No more horseriding. No more parties to drop off and pick up from. No more hospital appointments. No more friends to drive to and from. No more work pick ups and drop offs. No more school pick ups and drop offs. No more swimming lessons. No more after school activities. No more sitting in carparks for hours waiting or waiting rooms waiting or cafes/shopping centres waiting. And no more driving for, quite often, 5+ hours a day. 

It's a big transition as one child spreads her wings and embraces her independence and adult life while the other transitions to working and spending more time with others whilst pulling back on the all the regular activities and appointments he used to always have. 

Cameron and I are experiencing this transition very differently. I keep forgetting that my life has changed and I can't get my head around it. Give me time, I'll get there, I'm sure.  

Cameron is experiencing grief. He's angry. He is watching his sister and recognizing that she is free and he is not. We have watched his level of awareness and understanding change recently and this is one of those areas where it has changed. He knows he is being left behind and she is spreading her wings. 

Cameron 
February 2021

This afternoon Cameron watched his sister go to work and then he stood at the front door for over 2 hours, after a session of sporadic screaming. He knows his life is different and he knows he is missing out. It makes me cry because prior to this - Ignorance was Bliss for Cameron. This was his third bout of unhappiness this week. 

It's going to be a bumpy transition this time. It's good that Cameron understands his world more but with the loss of naivety comes disappointment and reality. No one should have to watch their younger sister embrace freedom whilst watching from behind locked doors, powerless to change his own predicament.  

Now that we understand his feelings we'll work to make life better. His business is definitely helping - he is enjoying the different tasks and interactions. We definitely started Cameron Collects at just the right time. In the meantime, if you hear some weird noises coming from our house please be understanding, it's just Cameron letting the Universe know that it's not fair. And he's right, it's not fair.